Halloween is for Kids. So get your 6-foot ass off my porch.

This will be short. And I really debated whether to post anything...I haven't in months, simply because nothing new was pissing me off enough or making me say "hmmm" enough to feel compelled to blog. But I've been thinking on this...and dwelling. So here goes:

It's Halloween. If you are over 18, get the hell off my porch. If you are escorting your kids because they are too little to roam around themselves, you can come on my porch but if you have the balls to hold out your own bag, I will kick your ass off my porch. If you do not speak English, are an adult and come up to my porch spouting enough English to ask for candy, I will still kick your ass off of it.

Even if you are escorting your kid, and you're a teenage mother, forget it. And wearing that skintight, ass-baring orange Jailbird outfit from "The Girls Next Door" is not helping. If you are going to a semi-pornographic adults-only party later, make a wise choice and change after taking the wee ones through the neighborhood. Get off my porch.