I'm not a bad parent. But I'm also not as good as I used to think I was. My daughter is doing poorly in two subjects (language arts, which just kills me, and science, which kills her dad, an engineer). She is mouthy, disrespectful, beligerant and moody; most of the time I don't enjoy her company. (She can also be extremely funny, sweet, and fabulously creative.) But what the past school year has taught me is that all those years of being judgemental of other parents with mouthy, disrespectul children was just setting me up for payback: big time.
Everyone has their moments as parents when everything just clicks. But the middle school years? Well, the clicking is silent most of the time. There's weeping, wailing and much gnashing of teeth. But the moments when the sun is shining, the kids are happy and mom and dad are at peace with the universe...hmmm...I'll have to get back to you. And I am SO guilty of thinking smugly to myself, in years past, "oh, I'll never let my child talk to me that way." Or, "I don't know what's so hard about it...it just requires a little discipline." Or the worst, "What is wrong with her (him)? Being a parent isn't brain surgery."
No. It's much harder than that.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
It's Lunchtime! Go Home!
I've been meaning to rant about this for a while...and a lunchtime stop at my favorite store prompted me to get on the stick and do it. Here goes:
Housewives, Stay-at-home moms, old retired people, people who have the day off...stay the hell out of stores during lunchtime!!!!! (yes, it warranted 5 exclamation points)
Mommies dearest, I know you miss the comraderie of adults and conversation that doesn't include the words poo poo and sippy cup, but that's just tough. When you drag your crabby brat through the produce section it disturbs my ability to pick out a good head of broccoli. And, more importantly, YOU DON'T NEED TO BE THERE AT THAT TIME. You can go in the morning, in the mid morning, in the mid afternoon...well, you get my drift. So if you really want adult company, put your kid in daycare and get your ass to work.
Old retired people, you are just the worst. Not only do you walk too slow and hog the entire aisle, you want to engage every freaking salesperson, meat counter guy and stock boy in tedious, boring conversation. I don't care that you eat prunes to stay regular and neither does Joe...what Joe needs to care about is slicing my turkey paper thin so I can get back to work!
People who have the day off and still can't find anything better to do than go shopping when the rest of the working world is trying to knock one more thing off their list: you're just too pathetic for words. Go back to work, leisure time is wasted on you.
Housewives, Stay-at-home moms, old retired people, people who have the day off...stay the hell out of stores during lunchtime!!!!! (yes, it warranted 5 exclamation points)
Mommies dearest, I know you miss the comraderie of adults and conversation that doesn't include the words poo poo and sippy cup, but that's just tough. When you drag your crabby brat through the produce section it disturbs my ability to pick out a good head of broccoli. And, more importantly, YOU DON'T NEED TO BE THERE AT THAT TIME. You can go in the morning, in the mid morning, in the mid afternoon...well, you get my drift. So if you really want adult company, put your kid in daycare and get your ass to work.
Old retired people, you are just the worst. Not only do you walk too slow and hog the entire aisle, you want to engage every freaking salesperson, meat counter guy and stock boy in tedious, boring conversation. I don't care that you eat prunes to stay regular and neither does Joe...what Joe needs to care about is slicing my turkey paper thin so I can get back to work!
People who have the day off and still can't find anything better to do than go shopping when the rest of the working world is trying to knock one more thing off their list: you're just too pathetic for words. Go back to work, leisure time is wasted on you.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
My Upcoming Southeast Michigan Staycation.
At my company, once you hit that 20-year milestone, you get a four week sabbatical. I hit that mark this July. And wouldn't you figure, now that I have the time, I don't have the money to go anywhere.
So I guess I'm taking a "staycation." Stupid name, but it fits. I live in Detroit (well, a suburb of, but a close suburb, so cut me some slack.) so there are lots of things to do, and lord knows the city needs my money. Kwame stole or spent or wasted a LOT of it over the past several years.
I'm going to head to the DIA (haven't been there since its fabulous renovation), the Detroit Historical Museum, the Detroit Science Center, Pewabic Pottery, the usual suspects. I used to live in Midtown, near the Fisher Building (which is a cool place to visit and shop, too), so Detroit is not a foreign, scary place to me (except when you have to go grocery shopping...homeless people in grocery stores have no concept of personal space). Sometimes it's fun just to drive through Indian Village--I would love to live in one of those old mansions, but the heating bills alone would put me in the poorhouse.
Not sure if Fort Wayne is still open; I'll check. Grosse Isle already has all the wealthy downriver rats; no need to go there right now. But Trenton's Elizabeth Park is really beautiful, so I'll meander over there for a spell. They have a brand new skate park (it's for trick skating, I will NOT be doing that) and on weekends, pony rides. And the Romulus Athletic Center is a really nice place to work out--lots of stone and glass and earthtones, with state of the art equipment and a fabulous poolscape and rock climbing wall.
But I will also wander south to Toledo, (I know, it's Ohio, but they're hurting, too) to see the school bus races at the Toledo Speedway, and perhaps the trailer races at Flatrock Speedway, too. I hear great things about the Libbey Glass outlet and I haven't been to COSI since my kids were little. (I guess that will have to wait...when I went to hyperlink this, I realized it was closed due to restructuring and will open in Fall 2009...maybe. Sigh.)
Cabela's is doing fine without me and my money, but downtown Monroe (home of the River Raisin battlefield, no less!) could probably use a little cash infusion. And my hometown, Dearborn, does have a wonderful theater...granted the entertainment is strictly D list, but sometimes it's campy fun. And the nature trail that starts at Andiamo's and heads into Hines Park past Henry Ford's Fairlane Estate is my favorite running route...I've come upon deer and that's really cool.
Just writing this has made me feel better about living in Michigan and I didn't even mention the Great Lakes.
Be proud, Michiganders!
So I guess I'm taking a "staycation." Stupid name, but it fits. I live in Detroit (well, a suburb of, but a close suburb, so cut me some slack.) so there are lots of things to do, and lord knows the city needs my money. Kwame stole or spent or wasted a LOT of it over the past several years.
I'm going to head to the DIA (haven't been there since its fabulous renovation), the Detroit Historical Museum, the Detroit Science Center, Pewabic Pottery, the usual suspects. I used to live in Midtown, near the Fisher Building (which is a cool place to visit and shop, too), so Detroit is not a foreign, scary place to me (except when you have to go grocery shopping...homeless people in grocery stores have no concept of personal space). Sometimes it's fun just to drive through Indian Village--I would love to live in one of those old mansions, but the heating bills alone would put me in the poorhouse.
Not sure if Fort Wayne is still open; I'll check. Grosse Isle already has all the wealthy downriver rats; no need to go there right now. But Trenton's Elizabeth Park is really beautiful, so I'll meander over there for a spell. They have a brand new skate park (it's for trick skating, I will NOT be doing that) and on weekends, pony rides. And the Romulus Athletic Center is a really nice place to work out--lots of stone and glass and earthtones, with state of the art equipment and a fabulous poolscape and rock climbing wall.
But I will also wander south to Toledo, (I know, it's Ohio, but they're hurting, too) to see the school bus races at the Toledo Speedway, and perhaps the trailer races at Flatrock Speedway, too. I hear great things about the Libbey Glass outlet and I haven't been to COSI since my kids were little. (I guess that will have to wait...when I went to hyperlink this, I realized it was closed due to restructuring and will open in Fall 2009...maybe. Sigh.)
Cabela's is doing fine without me and my money, but downtown Monroe (home of the River Raisin battlefield, no less!) could probably use a little cash infusion. And my hometown, Dearborn, does have a wonderful theater...granted the entertainment is strictly D list, but sometimes it's campy fun. And the nature trail that starts at Andiamo's and heads into Hines Park past Henry Ford's Fairlane Estate is my favorite running route...I've come upon deer and that's really cool.
Just writing this has made me feel better about living in Michigan and I didn't even mention the Great Lakes.
Be proud, Michiganders!
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Keep Your Butts out of my Neighborhood!
An open letter to the hospital a block away from my house: thanks so much for instituting that wonderful "no smoking on hospital grounds" policy. It's a really nice PR soundbite you can put in all your marketing materials.
But let me tell you this: while you are all sitting smugly in your offices, enjoying the fresh air and the self-righteousness of your actions, we homeowners who surround your glorious institution now have to constantly pick up cigarette butts off of our front laws. Why? Because that's where your nicotine-stained doctors and nurses saunter when they have to have that cancer stick fix.
I feel most sorry for the few houses that sit directly adjacent to the property line. Their sidewalks and lawns are packed full of butts. It's a lovely site. Almost as lovely as when a pack of your vaulted medical personnel stand around in a tight pack and slowly kill themselves, then cavalierly flick their butts onto someone else's property. Truly altruistic.
Butt out.
But let me tell you this: while you are all sitting smugly in your offices, enjoying the fresh air and the self-righteousness of your actions, we homeowners who surround your glorious institution now have to constantly pick up cigarette butts off of our front laws. Why? Because that's where your nicotine-stained doctors and nurses saunter when they have to have that cancer stick fix.
I feel most sorry for the few houses that sit directly adjacent to the property line. Their sidewalks and lawns are packed full of butts. It's a lovely site. Almost as lovely as when a pack of your vaulted medical personnel stand around in a tight pack and slowly kill themselves, then cavalierly flick their butts onto someone else's property. Truly altruistic.
Butt out.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Hiring People for all the Wrong Reasons.
We have a job opening at our company...weird, I know. But since we laid off about a dozen people in late January, we've had a few others leave on their own, and now we are a bit short handed.
It's for a lower level media relations position...we'd like someone who is energetic, aggressive, media savvy--they're going to be spending a lot of time crafting angles and making fevered pitch calls and emails to get coverage for our clients. But we also need someone who understands the role of social media in public relations.
The resumes we are getting are incredible. People with 25+ years of experience, who have been the top dog at newspapers and charitable foundations and ad agencies are now applying for this job...the king of job they had back in the 80s, most likely. Let's face it, they need the health insurance and a regular paycheck. It's a humbling experience for them and a gratitude-inducing one for us...we are awfully glad to be on the hiring end if this is what it's come to.
The problem? Wanting to hire a ridiculously overqualified person for cheap...and that's not a good thing. Let's face it, the minute the economy perks up, that guy or gal is out of here. Or wanting to be promoted, or paid a boatload more money. And while there's nothing wrong with that, it means all of this effort was a waste.
It's just awfully hard to say no to these people.
It's for a lower level media relations position...we'd like someone who is energetic, aggressive, media savvy--they're going to be spending a lot of time crafting angles and making fevered pitch calls and emails to get coverage for our clients. But we also need someone who understands the role of social media in public relations.
The resumes we are getting are incredible. People with 25+ years of experience, who have been the top dog at newspapers and charitable foundations and ad agencies are now applying for this job...the king of job they had back in the 80s, most likely. Let's face it, they need the health insurance and a regular paycheck. It's a humbling experience for them and a gratitude-inducing one for us...we are awfully glad to be on the hiring end if this is what it's come to.
The problem? Wanting to hire a ridiculously overqualified person for cheap...and that's not a good thing. Let's face it, the minute the economy perks up, that guy or gal is out of here. Or wanting to be promoted, or paid a boatload more money. And while there's nothing wrong with that, it means all of this effort was a waste.
It's just awfully hard to say no to these people.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Are you the Wife at Work?
Here's what I'm talking about...I'm in a meeting with 5 or 6 other people...all men. We are brainstorming about a new client or a new project...who is the ONLY one taking notes...yep, that would be me. At the end of the meeting, it's decided we need a presentation. Or a powerpoint show. Or an excel spread sheet. Whatever is needed, WHY DOES EVERYONE LOOK AT ME?
Are you constantly following up with people to make sure they are meeting their deadlines? When there's a big meeting, do you have to go around and round up your colleagues? Do you always have to set up the screen, and the computer and run the powerpoint show?
If you do, you're the work wife.
(Early in my career, I was working at EDS and went to a meeting with two guys...one of whom asked me if I knew shorthand. I DID, but I wasn't going to tell him that!)
Are you constantly following up with people to make sure they are meeting their deadlines? When there's a big meeting, do you have to go around and round up your colleagues? Do you always have to set up the screen, and the computer and run the powerpoint show?
If you do, you're the work wife.
(Early in my career, I was working at EDS and went to a meeting with two guys...one of whom asked me if I knew shorthand. I DID, but I wasn't going to tell him that!)
Monday, March 16, 2009
The Stages of Job Loss
I'm lucky. I still have my job. I spent some time over the weekend with a friend who has lost his (I hate the word, "lost." It sounds like you merely misplaced your job...it will show up any minute now.) He was fired. Let's call it like it is.
He worked at this company for 25 years. And understandably, he's having a hard time accepting it. He's still in the denial stage--I forget if that's the first stage or the second, but he is convinced the department he left behind will crumble without him. And it won't. Oh, there might be some missteps and some fumbling around, and a missed deadline or two...but nothing earth-shattering. And eventually, some of his former co-workers might even like the situation better now that he's gone. After all, no one is unconditionally loved (not at work, anyway).
He is convinced the woman who fired him is an idiot and will crash and burn in a spectacular manner. He will watch for it for a while and then, when the next stage of job loss sets in, he will stop looking backward and begin to prepare for his future. That's when he'll finally get a new job.
I think the hardest part about losing your job is when you realize people stopped missing you shortly after you walked out the door. Not because they didn't like or respect you. But because in this economy, everyone is doing less with more and jobs are scarce and people know you have to keep your head down and just plow ahead. But thinking about the ones who are gone just reminds you that you are one of the lucky ones left.
No time for regret.
He worked at this company for 25 years. And understandably, he's having a hard time accepting it. He's still in the denial stage--I forget if that's the first stage or the second, but he is convinced the department he left behind will crumble without him. And it won't. Oh, there might be some missteps and some fumbling around, and a missed deadline or two...but nothing earth-shattering. And eventually, some of his former co-workers might even like the situation better now that he's gone. After all, no one is unconditionally loved (not at work, anyway).
He is convinced the woman who fired him is an idiot and will crash and burn in a spectacular manner. He will watch for it for a while and then, when the next stage of job loss sets in, he will stop looking backward and begin to prepare for his future. That's when he'll finally get a new job.
I think the hardest part about losing your job is when you realize people stopped missing you shortly after you walked out the door. Not because they didn't like or respect you. But because in this economy, everyone is doing less with more and jobs are scarce and people know you have to keep your head down and just plow ahead. But thinking about the ones who are gone just reminds you that you are one of the lucky ones left.
No time for regret.
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