Hiring People for all the Wrong Reasons.

We have a job opening at our company...weird, I know. But since we laid off about a dozen people in late January, we've had a few others leave on their own, and now we are a bit short handed.

It's for a lower level media relations position...we'd like someone who is energetic, aggressive, media savvy--they're going to be spending a lot of time crafting angles and making fevered pitch calls and emails to get coverage for our clients. But we also need someone who understands the role of social media in public relations.

The resumes we are getting are incredible. People with 25+ years of experience, who have been the top dog at newspapers and charitable foundations and ad agencies are now applying for this job...the king of job they had back in the 80s, most likely. Let's face it, they need the health insurance and a regular paycheck. It's a humbling experience for them and a gratitude-inducing one for us...we are awfully glad to be on the hiring end if this is what it's come to.

The problem? Wanting to hire a ridiculously overqualified person for cheap...and that's not a good thing. Let's face it, the minute the economy perks up, that guy or gal is out of here. Or wanting to be promoted, or paid a boatload more money. And while there's nothing wrong with that, it means all of this effort was a waste.

It's just awfully hard to say no to these people.

Are you the Wife at Work?

Here's what I'm talking about...I'm in a meeting with 5 or 6 other people...all men. We are brainstorming about a new client or a new project...who is the ONLY one taking notes...yep, that would be me. At the end of the meeting, it's decided we need a presentation. Or a powerpoint show. Or an excel spread sheet. Whatever is needed, WHY DOES EVERYONE LOOK AT ME?

Are you constantly following up with people to make sure they are meeting their deadlines? When there's a big meeting, do you have to go around and round up your colleagues? Do you always have to set up the screen, and the computer and run the powerpoint show?

If you do, you're the work wife.

(Early in my career, I was working at EDS and went to a meeting with two guys...one of whom asked me if I knew shorthand. I DID, but I wasn't going to tell him that!)

The Stages of Job Loss

I'm lucky. I still have my job. I spent some time over the weekend with a friend who has lost his (I hate the word, "lost." It sounds like you merely misplaced your job...it will show up any minute now.) He was fired. Let's call it like it is.

He worked at this company for 25 years. And understandably, he's having a hard time accepting it. He's still in the denial stage--I forget if that's the first stage or the second, but he is convinced the department he left behind will crumble without him. And it won't. Oh, there might be some missteps and some fumbling around, and a missed deadline or two...but nothing earth-shattering. And eventually, some of his former co-workers might even like the situation better now that he's gone. After all, no one is unconditionally loved (not at work, anyway).

He is convinced the woman who fired him is an idiot and will crash and burn in a spectacular manner. He will watch for it for a while and then, when the next stage of job loss sets in, he will stop looking backward and begin to prepare for his future. That's when he'll finally get a new job.

I think the hardest part about losing your job is when you realize people stopped missing you shortly after you walked out the door. Not because they didn't like or respect you. But because in this economy, everyone is doing less with more and jobs are scarce and people know you have to keep your head down and just plow ahead. But thinking about the ones who are gone just reminds you that you are one of the lucky ones left.

No time for regret.

Social Gaffes...What's OK to Say?

Just curious. Can you tell someone they have spinach in their front tooth? How about a booger in the nose? Zipper down? Pantyhose tucked in the underwear? Bra strap showing? How about if the thong strap is showing? I know you can tell your friends these things. But what about a business colleague? What about a client?

If you get an email with embarassing typos from your boss, and you know he sent it to a client or media person, do you speak up? I guess if you think he's an ass, you let it go...but will he get mad later when he realizes it and knows you didn't tell him?

Then there's the more delicate situations...what if someone who works with you has a horrible squeeky voice? Or an annoying habit of saying "like" every third word? Or has putrefying body odor? Or breath that smells like a newly opened crypt?

These aren't uncommon circumstances; I have encountered each and every one of these scenarios. So, for the record, here's how I handled:

Spinach--yes to friend, no to client

Booger--nope

Zipper-nope

Pantyhose-yes to both friend and client

Bra strap-no

Thong strap-yes, but only to person who reported to me

Email-yes (because I am known as a good proofreader and he'd know I saw it and chose to say nothing)

Squeeky voice-yes, only to the person who worked for me; got them speaker training (it didn't work, BTW)

Like-yes, colleague (again, to no avail...this person is over 40 but speaks like a teenage valley girl)

Body odor-lobbed that one over to HR (hey, that's what they're there for)

Breath-nope

A Silver Lining in this Economic Meltdown

Read in the NY Times that more men are being laid off during these tough times. Not that it translates into any more housework being done by those laid-off slackers, but there might be a silver lining in this jettisoning of the MAWGs (my nickname for middle-aged white guys).

Let's face it...women haven't made the same salaries as men in...let's see...FOREVER. This article from 2007 indicates it will take 47 years to achieve pay parity between men and women...but that was written before the country plummeted into a recession. I'm thinking we can move that 47-year timeline up. You want to get rid of your higher paid workers but leave staff in place who do the same thing? You're going to dump the men.

And in the long run, this might mean that when this economy turns around, companies might fix that anal/cranial inversion and realize that you don't need to pay men more. Don't pay them less--I'm not advocating that--but more pay for the same job just might not fly in the near future.

Jobless rates of 8 plus percent (11 percent in Michigan, where I'm from) are a painful way to get to pay parity.

I am Between Booms.

I was born in 1964. Which means that I'm a baby boomer... but on the very tail end. So I suffer from psychographic and demographic schizophrenia.

I'm fiscally conservative but socially liberal. I voted for Obama, but follow John McCain on Twitter. I think Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity are media whores who do nothing but bitch about the stimulus bill, but I really am appalled by all the pork that's stuffed into it.

And I am constantly annoyed by the self-centered Gen Xers who work for me...but secretly envy their "of course the world revolves around me. Why shouldn't it?" attitude.

I do think all this tweeting, blogging and facebooking is just another way of saying to the world that every moment of your life is worth recording and sharing with total strangers.

But I tweet, blog and facebook.

Torn.

Linkedin? More like Suckered in.

Is anyone else out there just so over the whole Linkedin model? I have come to the conclusion that it is chock full of business people who are too cheap to hire professional help and want advice (and sometimes actual work) for free.

Either that or freelancers who are constantly shilling for business, help with getting the word out about their new ventures or asking for help in areas they actually want to be paid as a professional for. (Free advice: if you are a freelance writer, posting on Linkedin with run-on sentences, typos and generally crappy grammer is NOT going to get you clients. Yes, I see this all the time.)

If you are launching a new website, are you asking people to read your press releases and give you professional advice on the content and the distribution? You aren't ready to launch a new website, cheapass. Pay for some solid PR and marketing help first.